Monday, November 3, 2008

Teen: Age of Spoil or Blooming [Feb 20, 2002]

3 OF US

……Hanif is in jail now. 7 cases against him including 3 murder case. Not married yet.

……Shahin is a Civil Engineer and working in a large multi-national company. Married
recently. No children yet.

……I (Mahmud) am a teacher of a government college. Married and one daughter.

THREE of us were “manik-jor” in our early age. We lived together, study together, play together in fact our all routine was same during our studying in school. After SSC we admitted different college. This was the turning point of our life, I can feel it now. But that time we didn’t realize that we will be changed dramatically and we will be inhabitant of a separate world. But within 15 years of our SSC exam, that become the reality. We still friend but Hanif is far distant from us.

But how things have been changed? I analyzed it from different point of view.


WE STARTED TO APART

After entering college life our routine was changed. Each of us have found new friends in new campus. We learned to smoke for the first time. We fell in love for the first time. But Hanif was in little advanced than us. He introduced to the dark world. He obtained some ‘ganja’ friend and ‘ganja stick’ became part of their everyday life. Also he started to return home late. It also have been noticed that his parents never complained about his late arrival home. In school we 3 used to meet every day, every hour except sleeping time. But that was extended to a week, a month and then a year. Eventually Hanif become a classified listed criminal of city and a distant friend from two of us. Not that we didn’t try to keep him away from dark world, but that world become so sweet for him suddenly.


HOW PARENTS SPOILED A CHILD

Late teen is very sensitive time for youth, most important turning point of life. Thousands of Hanif is growing in our society every year. Apparently because of political instability, unemployment, social unrest is responsible for that. But from a close observation to few family and Hanif gives us different signal.

A teen boy/girl can be spoiled by mishandling. “Over-care” and “no-care” both are detrimental for upbringing a child. In many cases I found that parents blindly support all activities of his son. In Hanif case what happen is:

1. His parents didn’t mind his late arrival at home regularly.
2. His parents allow him to spend countless money and he used to enjoy absolute freedom in college life.
3. His parents were very much satisfied with his SSC result and admission to a reputed college.
4. His parents didn’t check who were in his friends during his college age.

Above all elements are good enough to spoil a good boy. Placement has an important role to build one’s character. But that’s not all. Person’s wrong choice of freedom can make different result. Hanif had good chance to make his life in correct way in but he came in touch with wrong group and he didn’t face any control from his family. Need to mention one thing here, his parents never had good relation with each other and they rarely care about the kids instead of their conjugal fighting.


A FUTURE HANIF

Hanif couldn’t pass HSC and that is end of his student life, but he turned to a student leader soon and lead a student front of a damn powerful political party. He were from a solvent family, but he himself became rich within 7/8 year of his leadership in the college. We will not surprise if he nominated for MP in next election and he is expected to be out of jail before hand. We were too shocked by his development(!) that we forgot to hate him. Probably we will hail him when he will be a proud member of Sher-e-Bangla Nagar MP club.

Never noticed any survey done on the background of existing urban terrorist in Bangladesh. If there is any, surely many of them will have similar background as Hanif. Surely many will be found that due to the carelessness of family, the teen boys turned to the underworld criminal and a part of them already involved with leadership of country. Politics, social elements are going to be controlled by them. Many can expect upcoming social chaos in near future if we can’t stop this trend.


PARENTS LIABILITY IN NATION BUILDING

Each family may consider to monitor the activity of their teen boy/girl. Not to let them spare the lots of money in early age even if from rich family. Not allow out of home late at night. Talk to their friend time to time. Watch them. This is not so much painful job if you think of a spoiled future of your kids.

Unless a parents supervision and fair education system jointly work, no hope is waiting for the nation so far. Family is the best place to build a nation.

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